Worth Keeping or Letting Go

Ever since this New Year, the main word that I feel has been scrolling across my brain has been "Relationships".  I made it my New Years Resolution to take the time to 'value' more of the friendships/ relationships in my life.  Be it with my parents, sisters, friends, family, kids, hubby, etc.  Everywhere I go, everything I read, think about, see... this word has been blinking like a New York Broadway Show in lights across my brain!  I knew it was time to blog about it and share with other moms but my mind was going in every direction on this topic! I didn't know exactly what it was about relationships that I needed to share. Ha! I even woke up before sunrise, sat ocean-view while away in warm, sunny Mexico last week hoping to get a video out to you about it with the sun-rising in the background!  I kept stumbling over my words and nothing was coming out right.  (Thanks to my dear friend Michelle for talking me into sharing the video anyway, its worth watching at least to see the beautiful sunrise. Like she said, hey, I'm not perfect so if my words don't make sense to you in the video, which they probably won't, just enjoy the sunrise in the back ground!)

I did several takes, "whats that crazy woman doing I-Padding herself on that balcony this early in the morning?!" (lots of early am runners out there) and finally I just said, awww.. forget it, I'm trying to make the video blog out to be so perfect that the sun will have already risen and the view will be gone and the point, whatever point I was trying to make, won't get across either!  So I share the video, with only a perfect sunrise in the background, and I share my typed words with not a perfect thought, but hopefully a well taken meaning behind it all.  So here it is, and enjoy the sunrise at the end:

My hubby and I were fortunate enough to have my parents watch the kids and his sister watch our puppy for an extended weekend get away.  We were celebrating ten years of marital bliss. Ok, you can laugh.  For those of you that know us, it has definitely been ten years of "not-sure-how-we-made-it-10-years-together". We have had our share of goods, bads, and definite uglies but we somehow found ways to "fix" the impossible and come out stronger as a couple at the end.  (I'm sure some bets out there were lost! Boo to you! Yeah for us!) So we went to Mexico to celebrate and kind of catch up with one another.  It was more like, "Hi! Remember Me?!" Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. But it was something that was important for us to do together at this point in our relationship.  So, we arrived in absolute paradise.  We did what every set of parents with four kids would do with time alone no matter where you are; eat, drink, hopefully sit on the beach or by the pool, have some adult fun and repeat.

So... I was under the cabana when I noticed this perfectly round golf ball shape floating back and forth spinning like a crazy little thing on top of the ocean waters, I had to see if it was a "real something" by the way it was moving with the water floating on the shore, off, on, off... what the heck??  I kicked it out of the water and onto the sand.  It was a little black coconut bouncing around crazy, floating on the gentle waves. How funny, I thought, some days that's exactly how I'd feel at home.  A loose, nutty, mom, spinning her head in circles running from one thing to the next, and getting into bed that same night thinking I've gotten absolutely no where today, didn't finish one thing, and still feel exhausted!  I picked up the coconut and put it on the table next to my chair on the shoreline.  "Relationships" still blinking across my mind in lights with this silly little coconut next to me.  Almost as if it had a huge smile on its face thanking me for getting it out of the chaos and at a stand still on the tiny table!  I felt the "ahhh... of finally relaxing with no where to be or do" once again.

I looked out and saw my hubby,  about chest deep in the beautiful clear ocean, slowly walking around with his arms extended out parallel with the water, then diving under, swimming up, diving under, swimming up, walking slowly around some more with water as clear as ever than diving under, swimming and he kept doing this until the point where his arms kept filling up with something he kept diving in for and he walked towards me to the shore with full hands.  People watched him with smiles, and some even joined him by my chair to see his collection.  Beautiful large white sea shells they were perfect, they were Big!!!    He explained to our new "viewers" that he was feeling around with his foot on the bottom of the ocean floor for little "tips" sticking out of the sand.  Then he would circle his toes around it and realize there was more to that little tip (almost like an iceberg underwater).  He would dive under, dig it up by swirling it out of the ocean floor and pull it up.  Some had live crabs in them that he would toss back in with its shell and some were empty shells that he brought onto shore.  This is what he was out in the water doing.  As people were looking at these large beautiful shells, he gave some away to share and the smiles and thank you's were priceless, it was just a sea shell and people were extremely grateful for his kindness (seriously, how many can we possibly take for the kids at home, they were huge).   

This is what came to mind with "relationships" and my sunrise video. People come and go in our lives.  He,he, some are "crabby" that we toss back and some not-crabby-ones are worth keeping.  (ok, just kidding, seriously....) Sometimes, we just know a little bit of them (the shell tip sticking up in the sand) and take it as good or bad, not giving them a complete chance.  We may feel a little walking on the tips in the ocean) and just keep moving forward because we didn't like the feeling from that one experience (your foot hurt, no kidding) to soft sand, not giving the "bump" (bumps in our relationships)  much of a chance (to learn about or grow from).  We may keep our foot on the tip (stay in the relationship) even though it hurts because we just don't know how to move away from it (friends you have known for a long time and noticed your relationship has changed, grew apart, but too unsure to walk away from it; security).  Or we can get to know that person, find out there's more than the hard shell image they have and learn the absolute beauty that they have in their heart. (Dig up the bump and swirl the shell out of the ocean floor to find a shiny, soft, white beautiful shell).  Once you take the time to get to know people, they may not be your new best friend but you take the time to find good in people, compliment or share (give the shell/ beauty to others) with them something they may have never even saw in themselves (the beautiful ocean echo sound inside the shell) and you may have just impacted someone in such a way that they will move forward with more light and happiness and possibly even pay it forward one day at a time. Even relationships/ friendships you have been in for a long time, have you taken the time to share with them how much they mean to you or just picked up a phone to say hi, its been awhile or maybe even I'm sorry (do you even remember why you stopped talking but remember the fun you've had together)?

Don't take friendships for granted, walk over, or miss them entirely. Relationships are always worth keeping.  Sometimes gently releasing  and letting go of for that time might be necessary for you to grow.  Receive what you are given from others, become stronger because of it, learn from it, and KEEP MOVING FORWARD (a mantra in our house!).  Sometimes its the challenges that bring you closer together than ever or the challenges that make you realize whats really important at that time in your life.   Its not what you do, or what you have.  Its how you make people feel in the end. Make a difference one day at a time with relationships, make it count, make it a priority, make it positive.  Your kids watch your every move and how you treat others and accept others is a huge impact on our growing generation.

Do not be the loose coconut!  Its a lonely job and exhausting. What matters at the end of the day is how you've treated the people you've come in contact with whether it had been for a quick second, a meeting a work, a run in with an old friend, anything.  Our days as moms are long and the years are short, every day we have responsibilities and those are not going away, will never go away.  If you notice all great leaders have a group of experts that surround them.  They take the best from that circle and combine it to empower others and share their wealth of expertise as a whole!  As we get older, we get picky about our relationships. Your circle grows smaller, you care less of others opinions and you care more about filling your day with what matters most.  

You are never alone when you take the time to embrace the people you are surrounded with.  You are a reflection of who your circle is.  Everyone of them has a quality within you.  If your not liking what you see, its time to make a change.  Walk taller & stand prouder because its the circle you CHOSE to be with that keeps you richer than ever.

Take the time to smile.  Maybe gently let go of relationships that you've held onto for so long because you may experience that by letting go of the rope, your kite will rise and catch that wind for adventures you never saw coming or knew you even had the strength to try.  Yes, the wind dies down and you'll always have the friends that matter the most, still be there for you no matter what the weather.  The ones that aren't there when that wind dies down, well, you may just recognize another beautiful shell in your small circle that brings more life and happiness to your "reflection" of great friends that you never had before.

The sun comes up every morning and the sun will set every night.  Rest with no regrets and sleep with peaceful nights. Know that you took the time to share with your family and friends how much they mean to you regardless of differences and always keep one another smiling thru it all.  Its those same people you never want to let go of.

My Rock, My Everything.

"My kite fly's higher than ever many days and there are other days it feels like its crashing down.  Its the relationships that I have that keep me strong and gets me right back up flying again; my kids, my hubby, my friends, my family. I am so thankful to have the best of them there for me no matter what the weather.  Thank You for always being there thru every storm and taking the time to enjoy every rainbow with me."-Connie