So picture this, its team talk time, the coach is pumping
the kids up ready to start the game...
“Watch the plays... no errors... keep your head in the game. Play strong and remember, YOU'RE not going PRO, but hey, lets make it a great game!”
Seriously! He just set the team up for failure! “Let’s get out there and play, but you’ll
never be good enough so don’t worry about it.”
I've never had the experience to hear this, but I did just read an article explaining to parents, that your kid is not
going pro and the chances of your kid ever going pro are pretty slim to
none. So let me share this with you, “Your kid is
going Pro, until you both decide otherwise.”
Why would you want them to think any differently?
We see parent’s reactions not only by plays made on the
field or a stumble in the sport by their child, but also when their child gets
hurt. Kids will get injured, unfortunately
that’s part of the territory regardless what sport they play. When they are injured, some parents naturally
will ask, “When can they play again?” or “How long will they be out?” Even I have said, “Ice it up, you’ll be fine
and get back in the game” before getting a professional opinion. Not because I think he or she will ruin that “Pro”
future, but mainly because we want them to always do their best and see it to the end. We ask about the next time they can play because we want
to know, as a family, will our player be out for the season? We are thinking, planning, wondering what to
do next; medical appointments, therapy, scheduling, letting the team know their teammates status, how serious is this, is there something
more emotional or physical that we need to be aware of. From what I have seen, an injured player, is
still part of that team, unable to play, but at the game, cheering them on.
When we commit to playing a sport, it is an entire family’s commitment. So natural reactions of when our kids get
hurt, is not, in most minds, will this ruin their future PRO career, it’s more
of, what’s our next step to move forward with this sport or without and what do
we need to do to help our child recover safely? And yes parents, THAT IS IMPORTANT!
Our kids are impacted today more than ever with negatives
all around them, social media, bullying, depression, suicides and much more
facing today’s society. As a parent,
running around from practices to games, endless nights of laundry, late
dinners, packing coolers for weekend events, living out of the car, going
from work, to and from the games, sitting outside rain or shine for hours. This, not including our volunteer coach’s life; endless calls, organizing and planning for team events and strategies, in
constant preparation mode, leaving home to work to the field and crashing in
bed at night from a long day. What is it all for? For. Our. Kids. By. Our. Choice. It’s
a choice of time commitment or an option of trouble with no direction for our
kids and staying “plugged in” with no activity or social interaction at
all. So we make the sacrifice with the
busy schedules day in and day out. And
yes, if our kids get injured and we need to ask how long until they play again,
it’s with great concern of knowing what kind of day we will have tomorrow and
the day after that and the next.
Whether it be a team sport, or individual, it’s what our
kids are involved in that makes up a large part of who they will become. It is their “career” as a student; teaching
them to be on time, to practice and get the end result of what they've been
working hard for, to be prepared with equipment, uniform, and all they need to
participate in for the event to be ready.
It teaches them time, structure, team building, relationships, personal leadership,
qualities that help you grow to be the person you were meant to be and like
some teams, priceless friendships & memorable direction from coaches. Yes, you as a parent may know exactly what I’m
talking about. Of course, this all goes
without saying, grades are first priority, bad grades =no game. Playing great in their sport leads to
scholarships for their future. No matter
how big or small, every scholarship helps and being involved in team /
individual sport activities makes it possible. So again, yes! If injured from a
game, I’ll ask if & when my child can play again to continue the student/
career responsibility, with the heart of what do we need to do to recover as
quick as possible from the injury.
When do you let the kids know they are NOT going PRO? When you as a parent and your child make that
decision together that whatever sport they are doing, is not for them
anymore and they stopped having fun. If in their heart they really
DO want to go pro, they’ll learn & do everything it takes to make it
happen, and then its up to the coach’s to decide with them. This is not about quitting, giving up early
or being lazy, it’s about finding what they love to do, giving it their best
effort, your 100%, making it thru the struggles and knowing/ seeing they are
giving it the best shot possible. When, then, as a parent, you still see your
child has lost interest and its effecting more in his life than impacting
positively, then its time to let it go, and together, realize, you CHOSE NOT to go pro. Until then, you bet they’ll go
PRO and they will walk out on that field or dive into that pool or walk onto
that mat or enter that event, with the confidence, strength and courage of being PRO, giving it the best shot they got, and I don’t ever want my child thinking any different or attempting any less.
I end with this story;
A child started T-ball, could care
less on the field, picking at the dirt like most kids. Some parents were bored out of their mind, or
chatting with others, or reading a book, until it was their child’s turn out of
the 15+ up to bat. Every week, for that
hour, this entire family, siblings and all, would watch, again, until it was
their child’s turn to bat, did any of them get excited, this not really including the child up to bat.
Then the child was old enough for Little League. The entire family would go once again, every
week, siblings and all, watch the team win, lose and this same child going thru the motions, again; no desire to be there, very obvious.
Then another Little League year of the child
going to practices, now with familiar friends and excited to be out with the
team, some were in his class, some new friends from another school, but still,
not a lot of excitement when playing outfield or up to bat, just having fun
being with other kids. Then… day after
day, Dad started practicing in the back yard with this child. Mom hears some yelling one day and looks out
the window. Dad yelling at son, “Give it
your all! Come on! You’re not even giving it your best effort!” The son almost in tears. Mom was mortified
this son was getting demolished by his dad and the entire neighborhood was
hearing it but Mom let them both argue it out, leaving it between the both of
them. This continued for a little
while, Dad believing and son never giving up. He wanted to see his son give
some effort, it didn't matter in what but at that moment, Dad just wanted to
see him give some effort, any effort and he was going to push until he saw
exactly that. Mom had to let this one go and let it be worked out Father/ Son.
Now, it was another year
of Little League, son was starting to learn different positions, experiencing more than just the outfield prior season in the same position that he had no interest in, an enthusiastic coach teaching
team impact, practicing and doing his best with Dads tough love every day in
the back yard, a smile and effort on and off the field.
A combination of Dad & Coach working with
him, seeing a potential that this player did not see in himself. The love of the game, was developed. And today, now at 5th Grade, this was
read by his parents at a meeting in school for the transition of leaving
Elementary and getting prepped for Middle School:
What was your biggest
accomplishment in Elementary School?
"Becoming a better baseball player and being the best Pitcher I can be."
As a parent, was it worth it? You bet!
Did he ever get injured? Yes, he did.
Did we ask when he can play next?
Yes. Why? Because we needed to know the next step for
our family and what tomorrow would bring.
Did being PRO during any of this time cross our minds? Absolutely NOT, but we never told him
otherwise either. We never let him give up when he wasn't giving it his all (especially his Dad).
If you are a coach, thank YOU for doing all you do with our
kids to make a difference in their lives (and especially THANK YOU to all the coach's in my own children's lives) and if you are a parent that can
relate to a crazy, endless living family schedule, I know you agree that its
worth it and wouldn't want it any other way.
A disclaimer to the loyal parent fans every day, every year,
in and out… leave it to the coaches to criticize and critique. Trust them to do their jobs; helping our kids make improvements & adjustments at practices or on/ off the field. Leave the calls to the umps and the plays to
the team. We are their fans, there at
that moment to encourage and build confidence.
Don’t embarrass your child, or their team, by playing coach or ump while
in the stands (I call it the back seat coaching) and don’t worry about what the other team is or is not doing. Be a "Focused Fan". Cheer on your team during the good games and
the bad games and keep moving forward developing their PRO ATTITUDE!
