My 12-year-old daughter, Julia, and I, were flipping through the most recent photos and videos on my phone. If you are anything like me holding all those memories tight in your overpacked phone storage, the phone is a new way of sitting together laughing, and remembering moments that want to bring us back in time. We came across the video of this past summer's State Fair while I'm screaming my way down the big yellow slide and yelling for my oldest son next to me thinking I was going to run him over at the bottom; for me, this big yellow slide is a huge event that gives me the adrenaline of a rollercoaster and the excitement of a kid in a candy store. It's my favorite and I love every second of it, especially when Maximus was young enough to go down it with me. Julia and I were laughing hysterically at the 12-second video, cracking up in tears as we watched the quick view of her mother's hysteria screaming and laughing and just taking in all of the summer feels replaying it together just a few more times.
Fast forward to today's first day of school and I can't get that video out of my head. My youngest is now in his last year at the elementary school where I lived and loved as a parent volunteer, my two daughters are in middle school, and my oldest, the first day of his final year at High School. Ugh, that moment everyone tells you about has so quickly arrived. Some parents can't wait for them to be out of the house and others, well, not so much.
Yes, today is the first lasts of many; the first day of Maximus's last year at the elementary school, (we refer to him as our "Grand-finale!"). Mia's first day of her last year in Middle School, Julia's first day of her Mother's year of meltdowns, and Cameron in his final Senior Year of High School.
The first time we walked through those elementary doors with Cameron entering K5, (Maximus wasn't even born or a hint in our minds) I had Julia on one arm in a car carrier at the time, only one month old. Mia was carried in her dad's arms, and Cameron held my other hand tight as we went to meet the principal at his new school. The day felt like yesterday and the school became a part of our family, even with Maximus as our newest addition a few years later and welcomed in with love from day one, just as much as the older three were.
Yes, today is the first of many lasts... the final year of our family in 3 different schools all at the same time. So the slide... Cameron summed it up best to me the other day,you will have parented for 25 years?!"
 |
| 2014 & Maximus not even in school yet |
That twelve seconds of fun on that yellow slide video seemed exactly how fast those 25 years of "momming-hard" are flying by me. Cameron very excitingly shared this well-known fact smiling from ear to ear as if he had the mom that mommed longer than any other mom out there... well, so not true, haha! And please don't think for one funny second that I didn't consider myself a professional underpaid parent after that statement either!
So the yellow slide... A whirlwind in our life of up and down emotions. Time flying as quickly as people tell you it will, and a life of laughs and excitement happening all in the blink of an eye. You don't believe it until you live it for yourself.
Going up that ladder and climbing to the top; Volunteering in school classes when possible, and teachers embracing the help, even allowing my little Maximus to come with me at times to his older sibling's classes! Meeting new families, planning play dates, experiencing different sports, and guiding our kids to learn and grow as much as we knew how. As a new mom, I found every church, library, sport, or group I could to meet other moms. I became a member of the gym to keep my mind healthy and of the zoo to keep the kids even more entertained, the library provided learning and reading fun for our rainy days. We were a busy family and I liked it like that, it kept life fun and it still is- if not even more!
Cameron is a great big brother and still plays that role to the fullest, and had since Mia was born. I watch past videos and see photos of him making his younger siblings laugh and remember teachers telling me how he took care of them even during school when he had the chance. Now he shows that love in numerous other ways and picks on them just enough to stir up the excitement in our chaotic-filled house.
Up the slide's stairs, we went, all of us, learning and growing together. Me, now annoyingly to the kids not missing a moment and capturing every moment with the camera. Not all days were easy and some days I thought would last forever, doubting myself of doing the best I could for the little humans God blessed me with. One day at a time, just like one step on the long stairway up that slide, we made the best of our moments, trying hard on some days to pause, take a breath, and take in the view on the good days and tough days. The slide overlooked the entire State Fair, in Wisconsin, it's about 200 acres worth of fun that you see from the top just to give you an idea of how long this stair climb was. There were some days you felt like the top of the mountain raising your kids the best you can and some days where you felt you'll never get out of the valley. All to learn you survive and thrive with a rush of love like no other feeling before.
Once we got to the top of the slide there were so many more opportunities for the kids to choose from... who wants to sit next to who, do they want to be in the middle, end, or whichever slide they land at (the slide is about 8 slides wide) just to get this huge slide over with?! Just like in life, I watched Cameron grow and find different paths to explore. Learning the moments of life's disappointments, regrets, celebrations, and challenges; all opportunities to grow from. Also leading him to learn of his gifts and talents and what makes his heart happiest. Setting the example for his younger siblings to follow, each moving in their own directions, doing what they love most, and learning to be uncomfortable enough to grow even more.
We sit down at the top of the slide as the volunteers hold our potato sacks for us and we adjust ourselves safely onto our individual sacks. We prepare for take-off, making sure the landing below us is cleared and the volunteers behind each of us give a big push safely sliding down this massive yellow slide. We all fly down at massive speed side by side with one another and the breeze blowing fast in our face and our hair flying behind us.
I want to catch him, I want to stop him. I want him to reach out and take my hand safely so I know he'll land in one piece. I want him to slow down and not get too far ahead of me. I want him to look back, see how far away I am behind, and slow down enough to want me to take my place at his side.
I laugh and call out his name hoping he'd do any of the above. But he doesn't. I yell his name again as he makes it to the bottom of the slide thinking again in the back of my head, if he doesn't move over, I'll run him over, but in reality, he was already cleared for safety and was always just at the slide right next to me. I snap back into reality from his K5 years and look at my adult son now sliding through his Senior year of school.
 |
| 2021 Cameron & Me |
Towards the bottom of the slide, we are both found laughing out loud at the moment and taking it in and doing what he loves; His camera in hand filming the excitement in his own way like I am doing the same with my own. He's found his passion already through the lens of digital editing and photography.
He made it safe to the bottom, and I landed seconds after him. He got up, looked behind me and we both laughed at the adrenaline rush we just had and walked off side by side back into the fairgrounds.