"Look at that baby with no socks on, whats wrong with that mother?!""That boy needs a haircut!"
"Dishes in the sink, toys all over?! What does she do all day?!"
"What is wrong with those kids, can't she keep them in her grocery cart instead of running all over the place??"
"She looked like she just rolled out of bed, she could've at least combed her hair this morning!"
"YOU HAVE YOUR HANDS FULL!" I'd be rich if I had a dollar every time I heard this one!
Heard of these? Said of these? Thought of these? Maybe even told the woman in the mirror a few of these?!
STOP! When a thought like this EVER comes to your mind OF someone else OR EVEN TO YOURSELF, STOP! JUST STOP!
I've learned the hard way of Karma, what goes around definitely comes around and we as mothers need to just stop all of it. Most of the thoughts above I'm absolutely guilty of! Isn't it funny how we can judge the five minutes we see of someone without even putting into thought the 24 hours of their day? No, we just judge on that five minutes, because we are such experts, right?!
I remember, yelling at my sister that I can't believe she forgot diapers at my moms house. 1) I didn't even have kids at the time, who was I to even say a word!??!! and 2) she was pregnant with #3!! Could I have been a bigger #$()#(@ at the time?!?! Was I really the expert to judge?!
Now, I realize... HOW/ WHY? Because I would forget not only diapers, but wipes, food, bottles, and more!!! Because I've been there I now know how easy it was to forget a simple diaper!!!!
No socks ON!?! Did you ever take a minute to realize, maybe the baby pulled it off and dropped it along the way with mom not even seeing it because her hands are full of getting safely thru the parking lot?!
The boy needs a haircut?!?! REALLY!?!?! Mind your own biz. period!
Dishes in the sink, toys all over?!? She's having you over and allowing you thru the door, be lucky and fortunate that she is allowing you in her life for a little adult company! If it bothers you that much, pick up a towel and help her out, DON't JUDGE, HELP!
So what if she did the quick 2 minute house clean the best she could and sprayed Pledge as an air freshener to trick your brain, ha! (fun secret I read somewhere, I can't stand pledge personally, but its still
funny)!!
Kids running all over in the grocery store?!? Worry about yourself, if your child is so perfect in that cart, you take a minute and let that mom know that your own time is coming, because guess what it will in one way or another, it will!
Looked like she just rolled out of bed?!? Did you take in to consideration, she was up with a sick child all night or a crying baby and the last thing she thought of was you and your thoughts on her hair!
and my worse, final words that drive ME NUTS...
YOU HAVE YOUR HANDS FULL!!!
Full of more love, craziness, strength, courage, and patience than you'll ever have! These words I think are the rudest most unkind words to say to a mother. Our hands are full of blessings, more blessings than we thought we could ever handle but God gives us just that, what we could handle and if my 4 are hands full to YOU, I hope that when you are challenged in your life, you realize what you are really full of, love? joy? will it make you stronger or just tear you down inch by inch?
Motherhood, Its not something we can just "give up" or "toss aside" so the "your hands are full" comment is a reflection of what you are able to conquer in your own life, leave us mothers out of your personal issues and if you can't say anything nice, don't say it at all. (Just had to be said!)
So if you are the mom that wants to judge others or even yourself, put your mind to a halt, give a smile, and let that mom or yourself know this, "I may not have seen the last 24 hours of your life, but I do know that at this moment, you are a mom doing your absolute best and those kids are lucky to have you."
YOU deserve these words and other moms do to, so lighten up if there are a few kids running around a little crazy, just being kids, you know without it being said, that mom is doing her best. Your smile and kind words may have just reassured her that she'll be ok, and maybe just maybe, it'll at least get her through the next hour without wanting to lose it. After all, they are just kids being kids with the only mother they'll ever have in this lifetime.
