My first month in college I remember sitting down with my parents telling them, "I quit". What exactly was it that I was quitting when I wasn't "doing" anything anyway? A little bit of a different environment, a different schedule than the past twelve years of school that I was use to, a little CHANGE in my life and I'm ready to quit instead of taking it on full speed ahead?
I'll never forget my Dads response, "Give it your best, 100%, for one full year, then lets revisit you wanting to quit."
So I did, I gave it my best and graduated! We never had to revisit the "quitting" topic again. It was the best years of my life; challenging, difficult, exciting, all the attributes that come with the away-at- college experience that I would do all over again in a heart beat. Friends I still keep in touch with and lessons learned that I still keep with me to this day socially, financially, personally, physically, you get my point :) So why do I share this with you?
Motherhood, like a diet, you have days you want to quit, just throw your hands up in the air and say I'm done, and you have days you are so "on" and feel like you have just made mother of the year because you made it through the day.
Many of those OFF days come from myths that most moms buy into. Let me share with you some myths taken from a recent book I have read:
The Wonder Woman: You can do it all! Balance work and home life, no problem!
Working full time, keeping that house in tip top shape, attending all the children's events, keeping up with friends, family and have that perfect marriage!
Super Mom: You can do it all on the home-front, since you are "not working".
Have the perfect children, home, marriage, etc. and all the above of the Wonder Woman qualities?! "Not Working!?!" Not ever punching out is more like it!
Guilt Gully: Whatever happens, its your fault.
The grades or trouble your child gets into is a reflection of the kind of mother we are. Taking the responsibility for your child. Taking all the credit and/ or blame for the choices they made.
Performance Pit: What you do determines who you are.
Who we are is not the same as what we do! Its YOU as a person, your actions, not as your title or accomplishments.
Yuppy-itis: Your worth is measured in $$.
Buying things you don't have the money for to impress the people you don't even like. The THINGS you have do not make you a for better or worse kind of person.
Pendulum Problem: You must choose either career or motherhood- for life!
Feeling you have to choose between one or the other, making it impossible to do your best at both.
You know what all of these myths have in common? What did you think about while reading each one? Did you think of YOU or did you start comparing yourself to others?
Remember the inside/outside law:
You never know whats going on the inside by only what you see on the outside.
Come to truth about who YOU are, what kind of person/ mother YOU want to be? Renew your mind and write down 5 qualities you love about yourself. Put it on a post it and post it to your mirror as a daily reminder of who you are. Parenting is not about perfection or comparisons, parenting is about giving your children and everything you do 100%. If we don't want our children comparing themselves to others and we do want them to always give their best, why not show them how its done?! Focus on the good each day and model a sense of who you are! I am always reminded:
You never know what the future holds, so give your 100% as a parent while you can, when you can. Your children will see and build the confidence within themselves because they saw the 100% in you.
Don't get caught up in the Motherhood Myths! You deserve the chance to give it your all like you do day in and day out for your child/ children and your children deserve the GUIDANCE they need. DO NOT cut yourself short by buying into these nasty myths and never cut your kids short as if you are not enough for them.
Be a WOMAN OF WORTH, not the WONDER WOMAN!
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This post was inspired by Linda Andersons "Heart Talk" Book.
